I often find some lines from this rap to be the most relevent lyrics in my life:

have you ever went over a friend’s house to eat
and the food just aint no good
i mean the macaroni’s soggy the peas are mushed
and the chicken tastes like wood
so you try to play it off like you think you can
by sayin that you’re full
and then your friend says momma he’s just being polite
he aint finished uh uh that’s bull

so your heart starts pumpin and you think of a lie
and you say that you already ate
and your friend says man there’s plenty of food
so you pile some more on your plate
while the stinky foods steamin your mind starts to dreamin
of the moment that it’s time to leave
and then you look at your plate and your chickens slowly rottin
into something that looks like cheese

oh so you say that’s it i got to leave this place
i dont care what these people think
im just sittin here makin myself nauseous
with this ugly food that stinks

so you bust out the door while its still closed
still sick from the food you ate
and then you run to the store for quick relief
from a bottle of kaopectate
and then you call your friend two weeks later
to see how he has been
and he says i understand about the food
baby bubbah but we’re still friends”

That right there? All that up there? That’s my JOINT! Because that is EXACTLY what I’m thinking in my head “That is it! I don’t care what these people think!” I’m hella picky/finicky eater too. My friends no know to even be offended when i frown my face up at food.

One of my Japanese friends to this day still reminds me of the time he took me to eat okonomiyaki, and the more stuff they added to it the more horrified I looked. When they put those bonito flakes on it, I burst out crying. He refuses to let me forget that either, he was looking at me like I lost my damn mind he probably still thinks I’m a little off in the head. All I know is, thank God McDonald’s has plenty of overseas locations. There are very few authentic foreign foods I like. I will eat Americanized foreign food though…

I guess this blog is inspired because there are some hella nasty looking potato salad and deviled eggs downstairs. The collards are too salty, and the spare ribs look dry. I don’t want it, I don’t want it… I’m going to make a turkey sammich…

Monday should be Memorial Day cookout at Grandma’s. I got a lot riding on your skills Iron Chef Grandma, I’m coming over there with a big appetite and elastic waistband shorts. Don’t let me down!

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 24th, 2009 at 8:34 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.